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that was it

last night i went with mom and stella to see 'this is it.'  the movie was amazing.  i can only imagine what the actual show would have been like had he lived to perform it in london.  i never got the chance to see him in concert.  when he was touring during the thriller era i was still in nursery school.  i was well under ten while the touring was going on for the bad album.  he toured for dangerous while we lived in guam (pretty much the middle of nowhere).  and the history album came out when i was a teenager but the tours were overseas...not to mention i was flat broke and couldn't have purchased tickets anyway (although i think my mom would have tried her best to get us tickets).  the concerts in london were sold out, so it's not like i could have seen one of those either, but still.

the movie made a lot of things clear.  he was perfectly healthy, for one.  his voice was amazing.  the songs from the thriller and bad era sounded the same as they do on the record/tape/cd.  that's quite a feat to accomplish considering these were just rehearsals and not even final rehearsals at that.  he was just trying to get the sound of the music right.  he was thinner than he had been in the past, but he was rehearsing for well over twelve hours a day, every day.  also, his moves had the same cat-like, otherworldly appeal (nearly preternatural) that they always have.  after a dance number he was out of breath, but he was a fifty year old man.  the twenty year old dancers he had around him were out of breath too.

it was awesome to see the monumental effort that goes into making a show like this.  just hearing michael talk to people around him about the music or the dance numbers was so revealing as to the type of artist he was and how much he truly knew about his craft.  he's also really funny and playful, which was great to see.

seeing the movie was a good experience.  it showed another side of michael jackson that not many people get to see.  we all know just the one side, the one that's been on display for the public for the last forty years.  seeing him in this different light was refreshing, but it was also crushing.  to see him on stage dancing and singing, so alive and full of good-natured fun made the sense of loss i felt over the summer surge up and wash over me again.  he's gone and we'll never have another person like him again.  a superstar who cared more about giving than taking, even to his own detriment.  that's rare.  a person on his professional level and with his history who is down-to-earth is even rarer.  in short: it sucks and it sucks because it could have and should have been avoided.

i'm glad i went to the movie and got the chance to see michael in this rare light, even if it did make me all depressed again.

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